I have this gem of a friend. She’s a calm, trustworthy, no non-sense kind of girl. One day we were sharing a picnic lunch in a little hidden park close to a busy street. We found ourselves talking below the surface of pop culture and national headlines. We talked about our lives, faith and parenting our growing children. When struggling through a new challenge she was someone I grew to trust with the grieving I was experiencing.
It’s kind of hard to explain grief when nobody has actually died. Sometimes though in life we are dealt a hand of cards that simply can’t be swallowed until we first process our learnings. I’m a thinker, a ponderer. My mind rarely can be switched to off mode. There have been a few whom have come across my path that took the time to understand these deep yearnings of my soul. I was grieving things that were and things that may never be. All in all it was a dump truck load of thoughts, fears and questions that weighed me down, things that frankly were outside of my control. I remember her wise words still today, “One thing I promise you, through the years you will get a front row seat to see God’s faithfulness.”
I have held onto these words for awhile now. They have echoed through my heart and mind amidst the doubt and fear. Perhaps there’s something refining about uttering, ‘I trust you God’ even when things don’t make sense. In order to see His faithfulness I first had to admit my own disbelief. I’ll attest that through these ‘I trust you’s’ I’ve experienced these very glimpses of His faithfulness.
Through this season, I learned to persevere against the strain of my human weakness. I learned to hold judgement because we rarely see the full picture when looking into another person’s life. I’ve learned to surrender control of our children’s lives and resurrender again for good measure. My biggest learning has been to keep my eyes open for God’s faithfulness.
Down new neighborhood streets, He is there. In the hallways of our kids school, He is there. Within the walls of our home, He is here. On the busy streets of our huge city, He is there. There are days of celebration amidst the struggle and even here, He is faithful!
I’ll be on the lookout for His faithfulness forevermore!